So no one told you life was gonna be this way. You thought being a grown up would be fun and you could do what you want, but oh no. Welcome to the real world. It sucks! When the summer of 2016 ended, so did my days as a student. Within a couple of days, I moved from student accommodation into a flat for a grown-ass lady and a fulltime job. I was flung into the world of bills, tax, living on my own, and working 40 hours a week. The journey of adulting had begun.
As a child of the nineties and noughties, I am one of many millenials who learned the lessons of being a grown up not from school, or parents, but from “Friends”. Over the past seven months Friends has become my vital roadmap in navigating the grown up world and is now more important than ever before in validating that I’m getting by just fine in my semi-adult, “will I ever get my life together?!” state. If adulting gives you the fear, or if you’re struggling through the terrifying realm of grown-up-hood, keep reading..
I always thought that when you grow up you’ll have lots of life experience that can be used as advice for your friends. But the truth is, you are either going through exactly the same problem or a completely different problem, which makes you utterly useless..
..Take relationships for example; I said these exact words to myself as a hormonal 14 year old with “feelings” (eww) for someone unexpected. 8 years later and I’m still with the guy, about to move in with him and live our grown up lives together (WTF?!). Adulting and relationships are a yucky, scary and (if you get it right) wonderful combination. Embrace the feelings, even if you don’t have a clue what you’re doing or where it might end up.
Oh and while we’re talking about grown up relationships, you thought that being sexy would just come naturally, didn’t you? Well, as you grow up and wait for the sexiness and power of seduction to fall upon you, you realize that it’s actually a rare talent that you either have or you don’t. I’m 22, in an 8 year relationship, and I’m still just about as sexy as a llama chewing a marshmallow.
But back to those feelings.. when you’re a grown up you have to learn how to manage them and take responsibility when it all gets too much. But not only that, you have to get the balance right on the honesty scale, which is easier said than done.
Oh and no one told you about how shocking it is when you first experience age. One minute you’re young, the next minute you’re still young but you’re able to say that you lived through a time where there were nokia’s instead of iPhones, cartoon network instead of netflix and tamagotchi’s instead of iPads. Now, sit down for this one ….. the kids who are turning now 18 were born in 2001; a completely different millennium to you. Sorry bout it.
HA! Gotcha! The millennials are not turning 18 yet. I did not have to just edit this because I can’t do basic maths …. (I am SO not ready for the adult world!)
As hard as it is, you have to face the facts and admit that you are getting old. When you were a student you enjoyed drinking, sleeping, and drinking. Now that you’re an adult, you enjoy going out for dinner, sleeping, and coming home to a clean house goddamit! Once upon a time my bedroom looked like a bombsite, now I absolutely lose my shit if bae leaves a sock on the floor.
As a student, you were accustomed to being skint. As a graduate, you work full time but still wind up skint with a little less payments from the bank of mum and dad..
Yep, you thought you would get rich when you were grown up. You thought that when you’re an adult you’ve made it, you’re successful and you have your shit together. I don’t know if this comes from society, ourselves, or both, but I think I speak on behalf of everyone when I say that this is 100% not the case. Adulthood is definitely not about having your shit together, but we think that it is and that everyone around us does have their life all figured out. So we act as if we’re totally fine and happy with the way things are going for us and tell people that it’s all part of the plan …
..But the truth is, there is no plan ….. EVER!
Even if we did have a plan, life finds a way of ruining it..
.. sometimes shit hits the fan unexpectedly. As an adult you have to make executive decisions and deal with whatever has broken, whether it’s a fridge or your ability to smile through the dead end job and questions about when you’re ever going to get married or pregnant. Some of these decisions will be good ones…
..others will not. For anyone who’s ever gotten drunk, dated a (really) bad guy, or completely cremated a pizza in the oven at the age of 22 – I think we can all relate. Adulting is not about having your shit together, it’s about learning to be ok with not having your shit together…
Because let’s face it, we’re all just as clueless as each other when it comes to adulting, right?